7 Signs You’re Dating an Emotionally Immature Adult


As a therapist, I work with a lot of very unhappy people each day.

And while there are many reasons for unhappiness, there’s one factor that magnifies emotional suffering more than almost anything else:

Few things make us more miserable than being in an unhealthy romantic relationship.

And how do people find themselves in unhappy relationships? Often it’s because they got into a long-term relationship with someone who was emotionally immature.

On the other hand, one of the best things you can do to improve your mental health and happiness is to avoid getting romantically involved with emotionally immature people in the first place.

Here are a few red flags to watch out for…


1. They’re All Talk and No Action

If I had a quarter for every time I heard the following, I’d be writing this essay from a villa in the French Riviera:

I can’t believe I didn’t see it earlier… He talks a good game but he just never follows through on anything.

The reason we all tend to fall for people who talk a good game but never follow through stems from a fundamental misunderstanding of what falling in love really means.

Contrary to the Disney mythology, falling in love is a transaction: Two people find each other sexually attractive and work like hell to convince the other person that they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Of course, with 10 years of unhappy marriage under your belt, it’s easy to see in hindsight that 90% of what they claimed was crap. But at the moment—when your brain’s flooded with oxytocin and every fiber of your being is vibrating with sexual energy—you tend to focus on the good stuff and ignore some pretty obvious warning signs.

Because, after all, your body doesn’t care about your future marital bliss—all it cares about is your genes getting passed on.

Now, I have nothing against falling in love. It’s one of the greatest feelings and experiences we get in life. And there’s no reason you can’t have it and a happy long-term relationship. You just have to be willing to look for the not-so-good stuff from the beginning. And one of the most important parts of that is noticing discrepancies between words and actions.

Here are a few examples of what it looks like when someone’s actions don’t line up with their talk:

  • They tell you that they’re fine with you spending time with friends on Saturdays but then give you grief about it all week.
  • They say work-life balance is really important but routinely spend late nights at the office.
  • They explain how open-minded they are about your unorthodox political views but make sarcastic comments about them whenever politics comes up.

No matter how gorgeous or funny they are, if you get involved with someone who can’t consistently line up their actions with their words, you’re going to be miserable with them.

So do your future self a favor and just say no to psychological stunted Romeos and emotionally immature Juliets.

2. They’re Unwilling to Be Vulnerable

Happy long-term relationships are built on trust. And trust requires intimacy—the ability to freely share and be honest with each other about everything from your hopes and dreams to your deepest fears and insecurities.

But when you’re not able to be intimate, it creates gaps in the relationship. And eventually, these gaps grow into gulfs. Create enough gulfs in your relationship and at best you turn into very civil roommates. But more commonly, it leads to chronic resentment and loneliness.

But here’s the things: while almost everybody can be intimate in some areas of their life, they often struggle in other areas:

  • Maybe they have no trouble with sexual intimacy but ask them to talk about their childhood and they freeze up and shut down.
  • Or maybe they’re perfectly capable of being intimate with their dreams and aspirations, but refuse to talk about failures and losses.

The reason some people have a hard time being intimate often comes down to issues of emotional vulnerability. They have a hard time opening up and being honest if it exposes certain painful emotions that they’ve kept locked away.

And while emotional vulnerability is something that can be worked on and improved—and along with it, the capacity for intimacy—they have to be willing to do it.

So, when you’re dating or considering getting into a long-term relationship, look carefully for signs of difficulty with emotional vulnerability. And if you find some, try to look for signs that your partner is at least willing to try being more emotionally vulnerable:

  • Are they willing to at least talk about painful past experiences or memories?
  • Are they willing to try therapy or counseling to work through difficulties with vulnerability?
  • And perhaps most importantly, do they acknowledge their difficulty with vulnerability?

We all have weaknesses and sensitive spots, things we’d rather keep hidden. But if you’re going to get into a long-term relationship, it’s essential that you find someone who’s willing to work on themselves, even when it’s painful.

3. They Make You Feel Bad for Feeling Bad

Guilt-trippingGaslighting… Call it whatever you want, but when your partner constantly makes you feel bad for feeling bad, it’s time to move on.

One of the problems with dating someone who’s emotionally immature is that the relationship always ends up being about them. People with chronically low self-esteem and major insecurities are always looking for ways to feel better. And often this comes at the expense of other people.

For example, emotionally immature people tend to criticize others often. By pointing out how someone else is bad/incorrect/stupid, it makes them feel good/clever/smart. Because they can’t figure out a healthy way to feel good about themselves, they point out flaws in other people which, temporarily, makes them feel better about themselves in comparison.

One particularly subtle but pernicious form of this is emotional guilt-tripping—making someone feel bad about feeling bad.

Here’s an example:

Suppose you’d like your partner to spend less time on their phone when you’re together. So you bring this up with them and a difficult, emotionally-charged conversation ensues. Eventually, your partner tells you that “Well, if you weren’t so insecure this wouldn’t even have been an issue.”

That’s emotional guilt-tripping. They twist a perfectly normal feeling in you—frustration that your partner often isn’t very present when you’re together because of their phone—and try to frame it as something bad.

Don’t fall for it. And if it becomes a pattern, that’s probably a sign that you’re dating someone who’s emotionally immature.

If your partner’s too insecure to respond in a mature way to genuine feedback and criticism, they’re probably not worth your time.

4. They’re Unwilling to Try New Things

If there’s one thing I hear over and over again about what is causing dissatisfaction in a marriage or long-term relationship is rigidity:

  • She never wants to try anything new for holidays—it’s the same old routines year after year after year…
  • I’ve asked him many times if he could start helping out with some of the chores around the house and he just never does.
  • I’m really worried about our finances, and even though I’ve suggested lots of budgeting ideas or talking to a financial planner, she just refuses to do anything differently.
  • He’s so stuck on parenting our kids the same way he was parented… He just can’t see that maybe we need to do something differently or at least learn about some different options.

On the other hand, one of the best signs that a romantic relationship will work out in the long-run is if each person demonstrates a willingness to try new things and learn to do things that are unusual or uncomfortable.

The key, of course, is to separate out talk from behavior.

Everybody is going to say they’re open to learning new things, experimenting, taking advice and feedback, etc. But when you’re dating, you need to look for evidence that they’re willing and capable of this.

Ask yourself:

  • Does the person I’m dating take feedback and criticism well? Or do they get defensive and argumentative?
  • If I suggest doing something new or out of the ordinary, do they try to embrace it or only go along with it grudgingly?
  • When they get stuck or have a hard time with something, do they ask for help or seek out advice?

Flexibility and the willingness to adapt in the face of adversity is one of the single greatest attributes when it comes to choosing a partner. Not only will you be able to get through tough times together with a minimum of stress and conflict, but your partnership will just be a hell of a lot more fun.

When you’re dating someone, look for behavioral evidence of flexibility and the willingness to learn and try new things.

5. They Insist on Getting the Last Word In

Now you might have read this subheading and thought to yourself:

Yeah, yeah, so they like to get the last word in. It’s annoying, but that can’t be a deal-breaker, right?

Look, we all try and get the last word in every once in a while. We all like to feel right, and justified, and that we’ve “won” the conversation (as stupid as it seems in retrospect).

What’s problematic is if you notice a consistent pattern of having to get the last word in during conversations and disagreements.

If someone can’t help themselves from always needing to get the last word in, it’s often symptomatic of much more troubling underlying issues. Namely, they’re too insecure to tolerate acknowledging someone else as right. Their ego is so fragile that it can’t take “losing” even a single argument, regardless of who’s actually right.

That’s bad news.

If they can’t handle being wrong about where they parked the car, how are they gonna handle being wrong about forgetting to book a DJ for the wedding or missing your kid’s piano recital?

It might seem like a little thing that’s easy enough to tolerate, but it’s often a sign of much bigger problems below the surface.

If you’re dating someone who insists on getting the last word in, maybe you should insist on going your separate ways?

6. They Constantly Ask for Reassurance

Constant reassurance-seeking is often a sign of chronic anxiety and dependency issues.

Perhaps the biggest myth people buy into when choosing a partner is the idea of complementarity as a good basis for a relationship:

  • He’s so confident and self-assured that it really helps me with my anxieties and insecurities.
  • I love how social and gregarious she is. She really helps me get out of my shell.
  • I love how clever and funny he is. Our conversations always make me feel so much smarter.
  • She’s so independent and creative. As a life-long rule-follower, she really helps me push the boundaries when I need to.

You hear couples say stuff like this all the time. And while there’s nothing wrong per se with a partner who’s temperament or preferences complement your own, it’s dangerous to rely on them or think that they’re always beneficial:

  • No matter how confident you are, it’s never going to fix your partner’s insecurities.
  • No matter how sociable you are, it’s not going to change the fact that your partner’s an introvert who generally enjoys low-key activities with a few good friends.

If you’re dating someone with significant issues of self-worth, anxiety, and low confidence, you cannot fix them no matter how many times you reassure them and tell them it will be okay. In fact, there’s a very good chance that you reassuring them makes their anxieties worse.

What’s more, it’s very likely that over a long enough period of time you begin to resent them for it. You will resent the fact that they increasingly rely on you to make them feel secure and confident, and consequently, that they use your confidence as an excuse not to work on themselves.

Does this always happen? Of course not. But I see it constantly!

Now, I’m not at all suggesting you absolutely shouldn’t date or get involved with someone who struggles with anxiety or insecurities. My point is that you should think very carefully about it.

And if you do, make sure you see good hard evidence that they’re willing to seriously work on their own insecurities independently of you.

7. They Don’t Know What They Want

It’s emotionally-risky to get involved with someone who can’t articulate or at least explore what really matters to them.

The reasoning is pretty straightforward:

  • Few things are as predictive of long-term satisfaction in a relationship than having deeply compatible values.
  • If the person you’re dating can’t express a handful of things that really matter to them and why, that suggests they don’t really know what their values are.
  • And if the person your dating doesn’t know what their values are, how can you possibly tell whether they’re compatible with your own?

Now, having a clear set of values and principles is a complicated thing that often evolves over time.

For example: When you’re in your 20s, maybe friendship really matters to you as a value. But when you’re in your 40s—with 3 kids and mortgage—maybe hanging out with your buddies isn’t quite as important as it once was compared to other values like family and financial stability.

So when I say be careful of dating someone who doesn’t know what they want, it doesn’t mean they have to be strictly adhering to this or that formal value system.

What you’re really looking for is someone who regularly thinks about their values, can articulate them reasonably well, and actively works toward them.

So, how do you know if they know what they really want? Ask them!

  • What are some principles in your life that you try to always adhere to?
  • What are you most passionate about?
  • Tell me about a value you used to hold but have changed your mind on.
  • What values have you inherited from your family?
  • How important are formal value systems to you (e.g. religious commandments)?
  • What values do you think it’s important that we share and see basically eye-to-eye on?
  • What are your political values? Ethical values? Career values? Creative values?

When you ask questions like this, what happens? Does your partner get uncomfortable and evasive? Are they willing to explore these, even if they are a little uncomfortable? Do they give genuine, heartfelt answers or do they respond in cliches and superficialities?

Everybody has values, no matter how ill-defined or vague. And eventually, those values will matter a lot in your relationship.

Be carefully dating someone who isn’t mature enough to think about and be willing to talk about their values.


All You Need to Know

Few things lead to more chronic unhappiness and stress than being in an unhealthy long-term relationship. And the reason so many people find themselves there is that they get involved with emotionally immature people who simply aren’t capable of being in a healthy relationship.

If you find yourself dating seriously and considering a long-term romantic relationship or marriage, keep a close eye out for the following warning signs of emotional immaturity:

They’re All Talk and No Action

They’re Unwilling to Be Vulnerable

They Make You Feel Bad for Feeling Bad

They’re Unwilling to Try New Things

They Insist on Getting the Last Word In

They Constantly Ask for Reassurance

They Don’t Know What They Want

Of course, everybody does these things sometimes. But if you find yourself dating someone who does several of them consistently, with no willingness to acknowledge them or work on them, just be careful.

137 Comments

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Great article and an important one for daters to read. I wish I read it before marrying. I felt a little flip in my belly and your article explains why. Getting divorced IS always a big deal in money, social group, family and emotions. Some folks do not realize this before they say I do.

Thank you, Jean. You know, the big impetus for writing this in the first place is how much pain I hear about from my clients who are stuck in unhappy marriages or going through divorces.

I suppose it’s the things I hope my daughters will understand when they start dating.

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Love this article. Hits on all points. It is affirmation for me; and equally serves as a self-reflective tool.

I really enjoyed the article. Too bad I couldn’t have read it four marriages ago. Though I too believe that I had some emotional immaturity myself. So it didn’t work being involved with emotionally immature guys.I Have now discovered that being on my own without a partner has made me the happiest and healthiest of all.

Great point, Robin! We’re all a little emotionally immature in our own ways. Key is to recognize it.

4 marriages… Wow… Long way to become happier and face emotional inmaturity and possibly work on it. We suffocate ourselfes with society standarts rather than working on whats really important before we start any relationship.

What drives me mad in relationships is when your partner doesn’t do stuff to make you happy, just simple stuff. If you are someone who is always thinking of others they take it for granted n get lazy n expect you to do what you do regardless. It maybe me who makes my partners like that. I’m a motherer a doer n and organiser but it would blow me away if they did something for me sometimes. I need to back off n not create a monster who I then resent for relying on me n being lazy cause they expect me to do everything!!

Maybe u need a kid or a lot of kids that u can’t even have time for a man in ur life! Find new priorities maybe a career that requires endless studying and children to take up what’s remaining of ur time, that works, changes ur man serving ways without a sweat.

Thank-you as l am a little mix of all that in some form as is the other people in my circle. Knowing we r all in this together Let us b who we r peace with others as much as feels comfortable. Move on if u have too.love anyways but leave.

Thank you so much for this refreshing article. I just got divorced after 30 years … separated for four. I know it takes two to tango, but I see so much of my ex-spouse in your article.
I am single and at peace. 🙂

I really have issues with the just last one, especially being unable to give genuine answers, i always respond with cliches, how do i work on this? I could really use help in truly knowing what i want.

If you dont know what you want, listen to your heart. Meditation, swimming and long walks help to reconnect with soul. Our generation is overall emotionally inmature as we do not dedicate enough time to stop and listen to ourselves, work on ego issues and patience…

Little too late for me. Second marriage and all these signs were there. Now I’m paying for it, and am living with a roommate instead of a supportive husband. I now try to tell the younger women to really consider the personality of the one they are claiming to be in love with.

Roz, me too! Second marriage, & I felt it in my gut but optimistically ignored it, hoping I could “make it work”, regardless. I came with three children from my previous marriage, & together we also had a child. I’ve invested 8 years & unimaginable love, tears, heartbreak, & desperate attempts at heartfelt conversations. He just couldn’t open up, be vulnerable. He hasn’t touched me in 8 months. It gradually & painfully got to that point,(intimacy anorexia) & now we are roommates, as I figure out how to support my family without him someday. Hurts like hell because I truly loved him, but the resentment from lack of everything grew like a monster. All consuming. I feel you. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Sending love.

Your situation sounds similar to mine. Idk what to do, we have a 15 month old. He doesnt do everything in this article but he does at least 4 of them. I just want to give up on the relationship. I’m putting in almost all the work when it comes to emotional stuff and initiating conversations. Just today he was criticizing someone else’s driving jn the car and I told him he doesn’t need to be negative about them and that I thought they were driving fine. He says ” I guess I just won’t talk at all, that’s probably what you want!” ???? I felt guilty tripped. He refuses to talk about it all day. This happens with a lot of things. He doesn’t want to talk unless I’m the one taking some amount of blame. I’m tired of it and now i have a baby and don’t know if I’ll ever be able to just leave because of that. We live like roommates now.

This article is old so in case some one sees my response here it goes.. listen you HAVE to hold them accountable!! and make them face it!! If there is no indication that they want or will change and own up to their toxic behaviors because of their OWN shit they chose to carry with them and not deal with it then I’m sorry bye! It’s nothing you did or do if they wanna keep that unhealthy coping mechanism they have learned then that’s on them not you!! do not loose your self worth because I’m here to tell you you will when you start feeling like it’s your responsibility to help them and make them see or whatever!! you HAVE to get that same effort in return and idk what your situation is now 3 years later but I sure hope things have gotten better or you finally see it for what it really is!! not saying a person cannot change heal and mend a relationship it’s possible but takes ALOT of work and effort, consistently, you have to be willing to call them out of bad behavior or past unhealthy coping skills. it’s all about acceptance and accountability but you to have lots of self reflection to be more aware and understanding maybe there is something inside of you that needs healing. this is just somethings I’ve learned from my most recent experiences !!!
it’s not your trauma it’s not your betrayal it’s not your depression or anxiety it’s there’s and if there shit is causing harm call them out if they get pissed well that is a person with walls up that aren’t coming down!! takes time and usually a life changing event or experience something that wakes them up to see the mess they made because of how selfish and ignorant they really are!! that’s a real thing!! Believe it or not I use to be that!! I hated it all of it nothing I did was right but it wasn’t ever going to be right unless I took accountability for my own emotions and reactions and thoughts!! Only then and self forgiveness is when that emotionally unavailable person will
See the light!! It’s a dark lonely place! set your boundaries if you see a pattern of good behavior after a fight then slowly back to shit ya they know what they are doing they just don’t want to put in the work because whoever it is and wherever they are if it’s refusing to acknowledge it or in the first stages of healing you have to feel and remember it all to process it in a healthy way a way that is going to benefit you . So you do you don’t involve others either the only reason you should be discussing your relationship is with a therapist or you and his say pastor or life long friend who just listens and maybe gives healthy solutions or tools to work through things. If a person wants to and is willing to hang in there I’m telling you this !!! you have to recognize and take action to his needs don’t do or guess what he’s thinking he has to do the work but he needs a safe place
To express himself if say he has to yell go for a drive or somewhere away from your home!!! you also have to know this too there will be days of insecurity and doubt by his actions just tell yourself this. he is working through things that are not pleasant and I am giving him a safe space I am accepting that he has I dealt with issues that have spilled over to present! he doesn’t know anything different maybe he learned this from not being validated as a small child like emotional neglect is real some intentionally some not intentionally nonetheless how he is was learning at a very young age!! conflicts make him anxious so his walls are speaking for him. I’m not making any excuses he’s a grown Ass man but sometimes it takes a person that is willing to give that grace and show compassion and understanding. to be able to safely open up and see your supportive with healing and acceptance of his past or whatever it was that caused him to become this way. It’s rejection that over rules the brain!! don’t get close they will leave when you show them your baggage it’s a cycle but you have to want to be different and want happiness not just be in
Survival mode!!

“I told him he doesn’t need to be negative about them”
Be careful with that as that is criticism of him for criticising that driver.

I was making the same mistake. Trying to change a family member by criticising them. It is not making it worse as they need their negativity to function. The fact that is would drag my mood down is my own issue.

Also when they would drive they would be extremely negative about the traffic and curse a lot. If I would drive then I would end up crying after 30min. I just do no longer want to be around such people.

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Awakening One ! The content was crisp and clear . I’m sure this will be helpful and reach out to someone or the other . Keep writing . All the best . See you in heights ✨

Sadly this sounds like every woman I have dated !!
I think it’s best just to stay single at this point!

If this has happened with every woman you have ever dated, the problem is you. Until you’re willing to admit that and take action to change it, yes, you should stay single.

I do not know you. I do not know the situations that you have been in. I am making a snap judgement based on my own biases and thinking that because Andy is a man, the fault must be him.
I do not understand that Andy may have dated only three women or possibly dated several and that it is still possible that all these woman have the portrayed these traits.
I do not understand that Andy may have experienced these traits in differing amounts per individual even though there are seven traits listed here and each woman Andy dated may have displayed one or two of these traits in excess of what Andy felt was too much for him/her to handle.
I do not understand that Andy may have made a statement with the meaning that each woman that he dated displayed one of these traits and not every single one – thus increasing the likelihood that the woman he dated displayed differing traits that stem from the same root cause.
I think that all of these traits that Andy’s significant others have portrayed are not possibly from their own emotional issues or situations. They must come from Andy doing something wrong as women cannot possibly display these traits unless a man provoked them.
I only happened to see Andy’s post while searching online for traits of what I expect to be immaturity as I feel like my significant other is immature. Keep in mind however that it is not possible for my significant other to display these traits due to any action of my own as I am a woman and am perfect.
I believe that men are the issue with society. All problems come from men. It is not possible for any issue to be based from one’s own mental issues, past experiences, trauma, or family dynamic.
They should all date women like me who are “Mature”.

Andy’s Conscience’s Translation —
If you are reading this thinking that the writer (Andy’s Conscience’s Translation) is acting immature, you are correct. I am showing you how immature it is to generalize someone’s situation without knowing them. If you think still that I (Andy’s Conscience’s Translation) am talking from some misogynistic POV, you clearly missed the point.

Great article ! I cannot stop to wonder if it’s possible to find someone without at least one of these traits.

Great article! Very enlightening for me and past partners. I’m saving and sending to girlfriends for them to read and process! Thank you!

Absolute truth, and is never too late to start all over ALONE than trying to find love in all the deserts of the world

I think an important thing to be thinking when reading articles like this, more importantly than “7 signs you are dating an emotionally immature person” is “7 things I should be mindful of in myself.” It’s all well and good to look out for these things in our partners, but often in relationships people do these things to each other.

I’d argue some strong counterpoints. The most obvious issue, finding someone that ticks every one of these boxes is downright impossible. Secondarily, people change over time. Even if you do find someone who’s the perfect match on this checklist, it doesn’t mean they’ll still be the perfect match ten years from now. I appreciate the list as some important things to think about, but as it’s been presented, and as readers are interpreting it in the comments, maybe it should be made more clear that, as with so many things in nature, there are many exceptions and these are moreso “big ideas” to consider, not hard rules to engagement.

Very well said. Also, if we really seek growth, we need to be okay with being pushed out of our comfort zone. It’s the only way to maturity. And that difficult person may be exactly what we need.

Well my bf is this entire list and he’s been this entire list for the past 5 years, going on 6 years. I only came on here because i’ve been feeling like I can’t deal with it anymore. Found this article and am glad I found it before getting engaged/married. This behavior was “cute” (my nice way of saying I tolerated it because I was hopeful and filled with optimism and love) when we were like 22/23 years old but not now at 27/28. So yeah… I mean i’ve tried to acknowledge any of my mistakes, flaws and other shortcomings but this man has never changed and has actually gotten worse. He’ll be more emotionally mature/intelligent with other people he just met rather than me. I felt my relationship was just getting worse and this confirmed that.

If we took all your points into consideration I dont think anyone would ever marry anyone, ever! We all come with these flaws on a continuum and if willing, have the ability to grow and mature over time. One key is to do it together over 30, 40, 50 years of marriage. That’s why there is “work” to be done in all marriages.

The article is fab….. And is useful too for the one who are facing this problems…..so this was asm…. Would love to read more article from this guy.

Great article – wish I had read it 10 years ago. But it’s never too late to learn. Thank you!

I totally agree with you. Many times we still hang on to those relationships even after noticing the signs because we expect people to change to our likeness. I wonder if they ever mature though at their old age ????????

I like the article. It is also nice to reflect whether or not it is us or them being the emotionally immature in the relationship.

Yup, is very easy to look for blame in the other party only. every point brought up by Nick should be considered and reflected upon personally for the sake of self improvement! Growth mindset! Everyone has their flaws, I attempt not to blame others unless they’re just callous or cruel (but fortunately that hasn’t ever related to a partner!). Great article Nick!! I’ll read it to my daughter one day, cheers!

That’s a good idea. Use this article to be SELF REFLECTIVE. Not to look for ways to be dissatisfied with your mate. Especially when they probably have some gripes about you as well.

This article is great!! Compliments to the writer ♡
I as a woman read this article as the “emotionally unstable person and then a placed my boyfriend on the receiving end of my behaviour and then Vice versa. Still it seems I have more of the symtonatic behaviour, however we do hear hear you and because you make so much of sense please put out another article on ways we can better ourselves from this that you have discussed. Hope to hear from you soon !!

I love the article, very educative. Its realy difficulty to date such a partner, it affects negatively to the other partner who is always trying to accept and understand..thou for how long…sad.

I have a problem with this article saying that guilt-tripping and gaslighting are the same thing. They aren’t. The former is an emotional manipulation tactic used to put blame and responsibility on the victim, whereas the latter is a manipulation tactic used to make the victim question their sanity and grasp on reality. The two tactics are indeed related, but widely different from one another. I feel that they can be included in the standard slew of dirty tactics that people like narcissists use to manipulate others, but still need to be differentiated from one another.

I respectfully disagree.
On the contrary—Regardless of if gaslighting (with manipulative intentions) and guilt tripping (from immaturity and without bad intention) are not the same, they have a similar “crazy making” effect and cause resentments, escalating conflict, and mental health issues in the partner in the receiving end. Whats worse is that the damage of guilt tripping often goes unrecognized because therapists dont see it, and they may only see the resentment as the problem. It becomes a double invalidation for the partner on the receiving end of the guilt tripping. I cant underestimate how damaging that can be to ones sense of self and happiness and connection to the world and other people. I have experienced this first hand. Luckily I have done lots of therapy, weve dont therapy together, and also Im studing to be a therapist. But I can say that emotional immaturity in relationships, intentional or not needs to be called out and recognized by therapists more. I mean narcissistic personality disorder is on some level an extreme form of emotional immaturity. So whether intentional or not, high levels of immaturity can be damaging to others and the therapists needs to be able to call it out so that the person can have the opportunity to work on it and their partner can get some peace of mind knowing theyre in a tough spot with an immature partner.

Great article Nick!. very helpful. You cover all points that are red flags before proceeding in a relationship.

I think I am currently dating an emotionally immature man. Lucky for me (I think) he breaks open and is willing to address issues. But we have to see if he puts his money where his mouth is 😉 We had a huge break-up and that gave me a chance to set parameters for change. This article confirmed most of my points. He seems open to being more open vulnerable, the guilt-tripping I can handle, I just turn it around and stuff it back to him. We are in the beginning of a so-called “turbo COVID relationship”. we moved way too fast, now we start over, with the right boundaries, agreements and insights. Wish me luck 😉

Curious where you are at now? I’m in the same predicament where it was a turbo Covid relationship, then exploded, and I’m now able to “set the parameters”, but I’m feeling suspicious and doubtful he’ll ever change (or even has the capacity to).

i never knew Dr Jacob can cast a love spell to return your lover back , if you want his help email him today : Jacobman41@ outlook .com

Please help, I really need it. I don’t have anyone to share. My boyfriend is 4 years younger to me. We have been together for 3 years. Initially, I wanted to marry him and guide him in life. But now, I am tired. He is immature. Our thinking do not match and so forth. His family also don’t like me. His mother badmouths about me. I don’t a see a happy future with him. Both our life will be devastated. He didn’t care to give me time for 1 year now when I told him I have changed and I don’t love him the way I did. He starts calling me continuously, keeps on telling me that he misses me, how he loves me. He won’t be happy if I ever leave him. He once cried over the phone telling me that he cannot imagine a life without me. But I do not see a future. He is timid in his family and cannot put his words infront of them. He says he will convince them but how? He is 23 and I am 27. He still has time to settle and get married which I don’t have. Am I selfish if I want to think about myself? Should I still marry him? Please help

No of course you shouldn’t marry him after all that you’ve just said admitted to yourself so much you’ve put it in text. Just no.

I think it is best not to take advices. We don’t feel what you feel and whatever we may suggest may be biased from our own experiences. Take a moment personally and reflect on it and decide on your own. Wish you love

Thank you for posting up an insightful article. I’ve dated an emotionally immature adult and it was draining. Being optimistic doesn’t mean they will or want to change themself for the better. A lesson learnt!

Ok so I need help I’m am the one who is immature in the relationship I have always been this way and never was aware of it and the things I do. I thought this was right. Now I am in a relationship for over a year now he has been working with me but me being the was I am thought of it as not that bad but now I see what he is saying and I am willing to change I don’t want to be this way I have never been in love and I am in love with him now he wants to end it I don’t know how to make him see that I can do this and I want to please help me

Elva, you should try to talk to him about it, tell him that you’ve been reading about this online and that it made you open your eyes to these problems. You’ve said you’ve never been in love before him, which is why you probably didn’t realize this before. Tell him that. Just be honest with him, propose changes that he might appreciate as an honest sign from you that you really want to change?
All love to you, good luck! ❤

Hi I’m not in a relationship, but I fine myself having a crush on someone that I knew over 20 years ago, how can I get this person off my mind. He’s in a relationship but not married. We only seen each other a few times after my husband pasted, but I did let him know I wasn’t going to come between him and his friend so how can I get over him next month will be 2 years, do I need help?

A Good article ????
Am a guy considering to initiate and form a durable relationship.
I’ve gained alot from your advice Proffessor.????

Such a nice article ????
Am considering to initiate and form a durable relationship.
I’ve gained alot from your advice Proffessor ????

My husband packed out of the house to live with another lady who he met at the supermarket and went in a relationship with her. He sent me divorce papers. I did not accept the divorce because I love him very much. I don’t want my family to break apart. I suspected the lady use a spell to tie my husband so he cannot return to his family. I was searching for tips on how i can save my marriage from divorce. I came across a comment which says [lovesolutiontemple1@ gmail. com]

My husband packed out of the house to live with another lady who he met at the supermarket and went in a relationship with her. He sent me divorce papers. I did not accept the divorce because I love him very much. I don’t want my family to break apart. I suspected the lady use a spell to tie my husband so he cannot return to his family. I was searching for tips on how i can save my marriage from divorce. I came across a comment which says [lovesolutiontemple1@gmail. com] priest manuka helped her to recover her husband back after several months of breakup” and I took the email that was presented on the comment. We communicated and I was helped even though it was not that easy. My husband came back on his own and cancel the divorce he filed and he is even more, loving and caring than before. All thanks to priest manuka.

I promise Dr Kala that am going to share my testimony all over the world if he could get my husband back to me and he truly proven to me that he is the man for the job by getting my husband back to me after breakup and that’s why am sharing this wonderful testimony for others to see and also get help from Dr Kala and save your marriage or relationship. My husband left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depressed for the past one month and what i need is to get my husband back and live with me so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr Kala and explain my problems to him and he help me to get my husband back with his great spell and now my life is complete and i am truly grateful to Dr Kala. You can  contact him on email: kalalovespell @gmail. com or WhatsApp 2347051705853. Thank you very much Dr Kala and i am extremely grateful for what you did for me. 

My boyfriend has told me you said that before, yada yada yada and once to shut up. But wants me to open up. I don’t want to because of the above mentioned. Did I mention he’s in his 50s? I feel it’s the beginning of the end in my gut. Great article

I was searching for articles to gain incite for my current relationship. Wow this covered it all. I am not perfect, no one is but I have never been so frustrated and feeling like this man is 47 but goodness he is immature!
I suppose in general we assume a nearly 50yr old, with adult children, and 7 grandchildren are mature. Not so! Now I have a better understanding why his marriage didn’t work out.
Thank you so much!

I promise Dr Mutaba that am going to share my testimony all over the world if he could get my husband back to me and he truly proven to me that he is the man for the job by getting my husband back to me after breakup and that’s why am sharing this wonderful testimony for others to see and also get help from Dr Mutaba and save your marriage or relationship. My husband left me a month ago and he was leaving with another woman who is 10 years older than him,i feel like my life is completely over. I read over the internet how a spell caster have help several people to get there love back. I have been depressed for the past one month and what i need is to get my husband back and live with me so i decided to give it a try so i contacted the spell caster called Dr Mutaba and explain my problems to him and he help me to get my husband back with his great spell and now my life is complete and i am truly grateful to Dr Mutaba. You can  contact him on email: Greatmutaba @gmail. com

I feel like most of this is just hot air. Especially the last one. Who could answer those kinds of questions anyway? What is this, a job interview?
The being vulnerable part is laughable too and a really bad idea. You never wanna be opening up to people about shit like your past, childhood, secrets, failures etc. People don’t know want to know those things to “get to know you better” they just want to be nosey and will take that info and use it against you.
Keep closed, keep your secrets to yourself, do what you want and screw all these stupid ideas about how you’re “supposed” to act. It’s your own life live it how you want and you don’t have to answer to anyone.

Great article insights! I knew already and all the red flag as my self worth and values don’t allow me to be mock about. Having bad past let’s me be more on guard. Right now with someone and definitely not making plan future anytime soon. He must earn, respect and definitely has to have direction in life and of course, there’s time frame too, next!

Thank you

Great article insights! I knew already and all the red flag as my self worth and values don’t allow me to be mock about. Having bad past let’s me be more on guard. Right now with someone and definitely not making plan future anytime soon. He must earn, respect and definitely has to have direction in life and of course, there’s time frame too, next!

Thank you

Ever since my husband came back to me, my love life have been so peaceful thank you for bringing back my ex lover email ( Robinsonbuckler11@ g mail com )

My life has changed for good after Lord Zakuza brought back my divorced wife within 48 hours. Contact him now for any help via Email on: Lordzakuza7 @ gmail. com

Ugh! I can totally relate! I had a girlfriend who always promised to do things she could never do. It hurt and we broke up for a very immature reason. Thank God I’m not the only one who thinks such people are immature.

I love this article. It also serves as a good reminder to pay attention for these indicators prior to giving your heart away…..

This is my husband to a “T”. Doing a lot of soul searching right now to figure out if I can tolerate him. If they could bottle hindsight….

My husband and I have been married for over 10 years. We met when I was 18 and he was 21. We’ve been through a lot emotionally together. There were several HUGE fights and painful situations in our marriage, but we always seemed to come out stronger on the other side. Out of the blue my husband just sprung the divorce talk on me, I was totally depressed until I found the Dr.Todd website online and I ordered a Love spell. You won’t believe my husband called me at the exact time this spell caster finished his spell work in 24hours. I was totally amazed! He is wonderful and his spells work so fast. His contact: manifestspellcast @ gmail. com

I am a bit older and single, living in a part of the country where people often get married quite young. I am “choosing to be a happy single”. I am fine being single. Everyone else seems to have the problem with it. I have learned an important lesson a few times in my life; it is better to be single than with the wrong person.my ex disappointed me by having a 3yrs affair with my cousin,thanks mostly to”hackingloop6@gmail . c o m”,whom i applied for his hacking service,he hacked and gained me a remote access to his phone activities..The fact is that he have been cheating even before he proposed, Sometimes I get lonely, I remember how I felt when I was with a wrong person. Maybe “Mr. Right” will come along. Maybe he never will, but embracing “choosing to be happy single” has made me more content than I ever was before.

I agree with everything except the reasurance part. I just got out of a 2 year relationship with someone with all those traits, except that one. Narcissists and Gaslighters (from my experience) have serious issues trusting, but someone who feels they’re being Gaslighted also can have trust issues, naturally. People who are Gaslighters are too proud to ask for reassurance because their ego and uncaring nature won’t let them. It’s natural for most people who have a sense they’re being Gaslighted by a narcissist to expect reassurance. I believe it’s normal and intelligent to expect reassurance if they feel they’re in a Gaslighting situation. In a loving relationship everyone wants to know their partner is being sincere. By not giving any reassurance shows how uncaring they are about your concerns. Those willing to give reassurance shows love and commitment. Something a Narcissist/Gaslighter would never do.

I am so happy to share this fantastic testimony of mine. My life has changed round completely in 48hours. I can see myself in the mirror and smile. I have confidence in myself and my abilities for the first time in ages. I have my boyfriend back in my life with the help of Dr Oniha. He said sorry a 24hours after the spell was created. He said he realised that he never really wanted to break up he could not handle emotional baggage I was carrying around all the time. He said that he thought he was the negative influence on my life and thought it best to leave. He said it was hard that I kept talking about the past all the time. We have both forgiven each other. I have money in my pocket that is my own at last. (My compensation cheque came through I was told it was months away. I am living proof of what Dr Oniha can do. I thank you so much Dr Oniha for the wonderful thing you did in my relationship. I am so happy now. With your help we were both able to see and speak the truth to each other. I never thought a spell could help a couple before I am very pleased contacted you and initiated all this to happen. Anyone who have a relationship problem can contact Dr Oniha.
onihaspells.com

I don’t know how to explain this.. I am overwhelmed with happiness, You say it and it comes to pass Dr Oniha..OMG! This is more like a miracle. You are a God sent to me..I love you and I will forever testify about your services to other people who are also facing marital problems. You make my whole life a living testimony. My Man is back according to your word. All thanks to you Dr Oniha. I will forever be grateful to you. Bless you! Bless you!! bless you!!! Anyone out there having similar problems in his/her marital home should contact this great spell caster he can be of help. Contact Dr Oniha on his website or email.
onihaspells.com

I don’t know how to explain this.. I am overwhelmed with happiness, You say it and it comes to pass Dr Oniha..OMG! This is more like a miracle. You are a God sent to me..I love you and I will forever testify about your services to other people who are also facing marital problems. You make my whole life a living testimony. My Man is back according to your word. All thanks to you Dr Oniha. I will forever be grateful to you. Bless you! Bless you!! bless you!!! Anyone out there having similar problems in his/her marital home should contact this great spell caster he can be of help. Contact Dr Oniha on his website or email.
onihaspells.com

My husband changed dramatically towards me, doesn’t communicate anymore. He disrespects me and accuses me falsely of infidelity because of wicked gossip …but I’m simply AMAZED at the results of Dr. Todd who did reunion love spell for me. Everything is going so well and EXACTLY how he said it would be. Even though it took 3 days to fully progress, it was so worth it because things are just about at perfection! How he took my situation and completely turned it around to give me exactly what I wanted is beyond me, but something I will never question and just be completely grateful, God Bless Dr.Todd for turning sorrow happiness. Dr.Todd’s contact; manifestspellcast @ gmail. com

I’ve been with my partner for 26 years, he has suffered some real bad things in his life, at 12 brother was run over in front of him, at 16 dad was murdered in a horrible way, his mentality age feels like it stopped at 16, he has followed my thoughts of life and never had any for himself. I have allowed him to be a big part in my kids lives and my house trying to make him feel important and loved, the only way I can get him to do anything is if I am with him, I feel like he’s always playing a game

I was more heartbroken. for 10 months I crying like a baby seeking for help to restored my marriage and bring him back to me again. thank God for showing mercy through Dr. Todd who help me restored peace back once again in my home with his powerful love spell that removed the evil lady on way to be with what God has join together. today I enjoyed love of my husband I must appreciate Dr. Todd for all he has done to restore peace. I am also dropping his contact here for who also needed help in there marriage to contact him. manifestspellcast @ g mail. com Thanks Dr. Todd

I got my ex back to me within 48 hours interval. After getting my ex back i thought it is wise to share my testimony with every one on this website that Dr benjamin is a real and powerful, he can restore any broken relationship or marriage with spiritual powers. email: ben jamincarter 171@ g mail. com…………………………………

I was more heartbroken. for 10 months I crying like a baby seeking for help to restored my marriage and bring him back to me again. thank God for showing mercy through Dr. Todd who help me restored peace back once again in my home with his powerful love spell that removed the evil lady on way to be with what God has join together. today I enjoyed love of my husband I must appreciate Dr. Todd for all he has done to restore peace. I am also dropping his contact here for who also needed help in there marriage to contact him. manifestspellcast @ g mail. com Thanks Dr. Todd

Yes, some people just talk and do not do any actions.
I loved this quote:
Contrary to the Disney mythology, falling in love is a transaction: Two people find each other sexually attractive and work like hell to convince the other person that they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Thank you so much, Nick!

Going through the same situation with my current ex. We have the desire and chemistry to take things far but we both struggle with emotional immaturity. I didn’t even know I could get anxious and needy until 4 months into the relationship. I guess it’s because it’s my first real relationship. I never dated in high school.LOL, I couldn’t help but chuckle as I went through the article and then your story. It’s actually hilarious if you think about it. I don’t think there’s anyone who doesn’t struggle with one or two of the stuff discussed in the aforementioned article. And yeah you will not find anyone who won’t test your boundaries, lol. What one has to do is find someone worth being a maniac for. Because otherwise you will search for a perfect partner and end up alone. What’s important as well as the chemistry is that both people have to be willing to consider doing things differently to make the other partner happy. Otherwise, run for your life.

This is an easy-to-read book written and edited to appeal to readers of all levels. I found the covered articles interesting, informative, understandable and relevant.

Really Helps to Restore relationship. As soon as I started reading, I realized that I didn’t want to quit. As each chapter and subsection unfolded, I wanted to know and understand more.

My husband packed out of the house to live with another woman who he met at work and he sent me divorce papers. I did not want divorce because I love my husband very much and I don’t want my family to break apart. I suspected the woman used a spell to tie my husband so he cannot return to his family. I was searching for tips on how to win my husband back and i come across a comment which says Dr Kala helped her to recover her husband back after several months of breakup and i took the email of Dr Kala that was present on the comment and emailed him about my problem and he replied back to me and help me to recover my husband back within two days and right now my husband is back with me and he is even more loving than before. You can also contact Dr Kala for help on his email: kalalovespell @gmail. com or you can call and WhatsApp him on 2347051705853. Dr Kala is the best spell caster and I am very happy to testify of his good work.

Wow. Interesting when compared to government actions around the world.

1: All talk no action: Ok, there was action, and lots of talk. And the actions taken were horrible.

2: They’re Unwilling to Be Vulnerable: Governments never admit they’ve been wrong. They’re not open to public debate on their policy decisions made by unelected officials.

3: They Make You Feel Bad for Feeling Bad: Gaslighting still happens today. They attack the vulnerable (unvaccinated) daily.

4. They’re Unwilling to Try New Things: They banned medicines. They refused to remove mask mandates in many countries. They only believe experimental vaccines are the only way out of this and refuse to try new things.

5. They Insist on Getting the Last Word In: The government and their spokespeople are the only word. They don’t do questions from Joe Public.

6. They Constantly Ask for Reassurance: Government always assures people they are the best and brightest, and so is everyone else that works them. They don’t ask for it, they tell you to believe them, to be reassured they’re great.

7. They Don’t Know What They Want: At least when it comes to government, we have a pretty good idea what they want. Mainly money and power.

Great article, thanks!

I was having Herpes Simplex Virus then i came across a review of people saying that they got treated from Herpes Simplex Virus by Dr Voke., So i gave a try by contacting him through his email and explain my problem to him. He told me all the things I need to do and also give me instructions to take, which I followed properly. Before I knew what is happening after two weeks the HERPES SIMPLEX VIRUS that was in my body got vanished . so if you are also heart broken by any deadly diseases like HERPES HIV, shingles,low sperm count or bringing back your ex lover, this great man is extremely the best in which I have seen and applauds and if you also need a help, you can also email him via email doctorvoke1 {{@gmail}}. com …………………………………………………

Dr Oniha, Here is my testimony from a Heart Warming indebted Client (Sonya Carlson from United states) Sir i had to write back to you though I am at work now to let you know that your spell has successfully worked, and he has returned back to me just as you said it sir. A beautiful red rose was just brought to my place of work from the man I contacted you about. Sir, I am so happy to tell this to the whole world now that he returned back to me through your powerful spells yesterday at about 6:00pm. Everything worked out just the way you said it. No more doubt. Because he now realizes we were meant to be, and that we were compatible. This is actually hard for me to believe now. It’s really surprising!! Thank you so much Dr Oniha for weaving your magical powers on me, and for reuniting me and my ex together with your utmost powers” If anyone out there is in any such situation you can also contact Dr Oniha on his
onihaspellls.com

This post provides insights into identifying emotionally immature partners. It offers seven signs to look out for and suggests ways to deal with these behaviors to help you navigate a relationship with an emotionally immature partner.

Hi, I’m currently not in a relationship, but I find myself having feelings for someone I knew more than 20 years ago. However, he is currently in a relationship (but not married). Although we only saw each other a few times after my husband passed away, I made it clear that I wasn’t going to interfere with his friendship. It has been almost 2 years now, and I’m wondering how I can stop thinking about him. Do I need assistance to get over him?

I USED IT FOR 2 WEEKS AND NOW I AM TOTALLY CURED FROM HERPES,

LIVING FREE AND HAPPY AGAIN, CONTACT HIM VIA EMAIL

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This is a really insightful blog post that highlights some of the common signs of emotional immaturity in relationships. It’s important to be aware of these signs in order to build healthy and fulfilling relationships with others. However, sometimes it can be difficult to navigate these issues on your own. That’s where a site like Alua can be really valuable – it provides a platform to connect with others who may be going through similar experiences and can offer support and guidance. Whether it’s joining a group focused on building healthy relationships or finding others who share your interests and values, Alua offers a way to connect with others in a more meaningful and authentic way. I believe that platforms like Alua have the potential to help individuals develop stronger emotional intelligence and build healthier relationships with others, and I’m excited to see how it continues to evolve and grow in the future.

Please take this article seriously. I have been married over 13 years and have suffered greatly. We tried everything and spent thousands of dollars on various therapies only to experience devastation of epic proportions. Some things improved but all of these efforts often were like putting bandaids on a gaping wound. I’ve almost lost everything including our house, kids, job, and my sanity had it not been for my support system. Please, please, please seriously consider the red flags. You can’t change them no matter what you do and how much you change. They have to pursue maturity with reckless abandon. I’m having to make a really hard decision to end my marriage because I am riddled with emotional anguish and exhaustion. There’s only so much you can do. While this article is very comprehensive, magnify it 100,000x when you actually live it. Emotional immaturity goes way deeper than you can imagine and the consequences multiply as time goes on. If I can save one person on this platform from this pain, then I would be immensely satisfied with that. Please stay true to you and trust your instincts.

Thanks for the article. You nailed it from top to bottom. I have been in a relationship in the past and I wish I came across your article I wouldn’t have made some of the mistakes I made.. thanks

Comments are pretty much as great as this article is. Unique stories will carry through. Compromises from both parties and commitments despite faults. Hopefully people can continue to work things out with each other.

My name is Jane, I am sharing my story on how I got my ex back and also to appreciate Dr Lazuru. I have been married for 6 years with 2 kids and along the line my husband started having an affair and took up a divorce case my home was breaking and I couldn’t do anything. I cried myself to sleep because there was absolutely  nothing wrong he grew hatred for me and my kids and it was unbearable but I loved him and I wanted to get him back at all cost. My cousin introduced me to dr lazuru I explained my situation to him he casted his spell my husband that didn’t come back home for months came back home surprisingly in less than 48 hours after the spell was casted and everything was brand new he expressed love to my kids and when I talked to him about his mistress he said he doesn’t remember anything about another woman ever since then till now our love has only grown stronger and I can’t thank dr lazuru enough for restoring peace to my home. This is his contacts information perhaps you have any related issues or know anybody in need. Phone/ whatsapp +13362994448.

Dr Salem I want to start first by saying a big “thank you” to you . There are a bunch of nuts out there just trying to make a fast buck, but you are genuine! I prayed before I went online that God would send me exactly where I needed to go to find help for my problems concerning my love life.. And I mean I went directly to your site and felt it was the place I needed to be. now my family is reunited and my lover is back to me with masses of love. I’m forever grateful! Dr. Salem is legitimate and his gift is for real. Of that I am certain, Thank you thank you!!! you can contact him on this email: salemmanifestloverspell @ g mail. com
WhatsApp +234 805 397 4975

This article is incredibly insightful and relevant for anyone navigating the complexities of relationships. Recognizing the signs of emotional immaturity in a partner is crucial for maintaining healthy boundaries and fostering mutual growth. Each point resonates deeply and serves as a valuable reminder to prioritize emotional intelligence in our romantic connections. Thank you for shedding light on this important topic and providing guidance for those who may be experiencing similar challenges in their relationships. Truly eye-opening!

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