Popular wisdom says that discipline is the antidote to laziness—and that if you’re disciplined enough, you will stop being lazy. But if you think about it, that’s a little silly: everybody’s lazy sometimes, and the idea that you can eliminate laziness with enough discipline is a pleasant fantasy that actually interferes with your ability to be more disciplined about the things that matter most.
So instead of trying to out-discipline your laziness, here are four ways to be disciplined even if you’re lazy:
- Values Clarity. It’s hard to be disciplined about something that you don’t really care about. Unfortunately, many of us fool ourselves into thinking that we should care about things we don’t (mostly because we see other people caring about them and mimic their desires): everything from the clothes we wear and restaurants we eat at to the work we do and the people we choose to marry. On the other hand, when you’re chasing after the goals and aspirations that genuinely matter to you, you open up a deep reservoir of intrinsic motivation. This is the secret to all those highly-disciplined people you admire: they don’t actually need much discipline because they’re pursuing their authentic values, which are hugely motivating. Clarify your values and you won’t need nearly as much discipline as you think you do.
- Get Friendly with Procrastination. A lot of people struggle with discipline because they’ve made procrastination their enemy. The instant they feel the urge to procrastinate, they start berating themselves with self-criticism and judgment. Of course, this only leads to feeling worse and lowering your motivation further. Instead, consider procrastination as a well-intentioned though sometimes mistaken friend. Very often, procrastination is your mind’s way of signaling values misalignment: you’re working on things that don’t actually matter. But even in cases where your work does matter and you feel the pull to procrastinate, treating it like the enemy is always counterproductive. Instead, the better you get at validating the urge to procrastinate, the easier it will be to avoid acting on it and stay focused on what matters.
- Environmental Design. Environmental design is a complex-sounding term for a straightforward idea: make your environment conducive to your goals. Rather than pouring energy into trying to willpower your way through difficult decisions, ask yourself: how could I design my environment so that those decisions are easier to make? If you want to be more disciplined about healthy eating, for example, better to put energy into not bringing unhealthy food into your home than trying to resist eating the unhealthy food staring at you from the counter. Or if you want to be more disciplined at work, try eliminating clutter and distractions instead of forcing yourself to focus. You have more influence over your environment than you realize (or want to acknowledge).
- Cultivate Agency. Agency is the belief in your ability to make positive change in your life and it’s one of the hidden foundations of disciplined action. People who look disciplined don’t necessarily have superhuman levels of willpower or focus; rather, they have a strong belief in themselves. And this self-belief stems in large part from choosing to exercise a high agency mindset which involves trying new things, experimenting, taking risks, and doing things before you feel ready. If this is uncomfortable or unnatural for you (I’m looking at you, anxious high-achievers), the trick is to start very, very small. Here’s a question I often use with my coaching clients to help them identify opportunities for exercising agency: Imagine doing something wildly audacious and exciting, then ask yourself: what’s the 1% version of this?
Parting Thought. I’ve worked with hundreds of clients over the years who had the goal of being more disciplined. And almost without exception, the real work they needed to do wasn’t so much about willpower or focus as it was honesty. It’s very hard to be utterly honest with ourselves, but once you are, being disciplined is so much easier than you think.
Learn More
If you’re interested in learning more about discipline and related topic, I think you’ll enjoy this essay of mine called 3 Deep Causes of Procrastination →
And if you’re interested in working with me, I have a small private coaching practice.
